I decided to come up with a ready reckoner for tackling the roads of
Bangalore!!
- Distances in KM/miles etc do not matter in Bangalore. Always
measure it using the number of potential traffic jams you are
bound to face on the way.
- The white spaced/solid lines drawn on the road is a joke!! Its just one of the things that we ape from the west!!
- Any lane is the right lane!! You are free to use any lane of the
road, no matter what type of vehicle you are driving, what speed u r
driving or where you wanna go. - If you wish to take a right or U turn, occupy the left most lane,
try turning right and block traffic on all the lanes. Feel no shame or
guilt. - Under no circumstances whatsoever, should the indicator be used!!
Its a waste on your batteries. After all the person behind you would be
breathing down your neck and would not be in a position to see your
tail lamps!!
- Vehicular traffic in Bangalore is fluid. If one opening on the
road is blocked, it immediately moves to the next available opening on
or off the road. You have to be a novice or an alien to stick to
your own lane!! If your side of the road is totally blocked simply use
the other one. Dont worry about oncoming traffic. A constant flickering
of your head-lights would do the trick!! :) - Two wheeler traffic is more fluid than ones with more number of wheels.
- If the gap between two vehicles ahead is atleast equal to the width
of your vehicle (excluding the side view mirrors and the other unwanted
frills!!) , go ahead and squeeze in. Otherwise prepare for a honk-fest
from the vehicles behind you. - If you happen to be at a red-light at nite, ignore it!! India is a
free country. Zoom ahead. Else you get the same treatment as above. - Pedestrians can and will cross the road anywhere and at anytime.
You touch them, you pay. After all we are a democratic country!! - The most used parts of your vehicle - The Brake, The Horn, The
Clutch, The Gear - in that order. Its a good idea to drive around in
circles in a ground once in a while, so that the gas pedal and the
speedometer get a work out!! It will also help you overcome panic and
helplessness when you are suddenly faced with a clear stretch of road!!
:)
- The entire stretch of the road is considered one long bus stop,
except for the designated stops!! More so if it is a private bus!! - Beware of this species of drivers - they usual swarm out of
certain areas like e-City, ITPL, BG Roads ar pre-designated
times. Drive Indica, Tata Sumo, Safari,Qualis or Tavera. Often have a
sticker behind them which contains a 9/8 digit mobile number which you
could call up to inform abt "rash-driving". They no know fear, They
know no rules!! They would go to any extent (literally off the road!!)
to transport their "precious cargo". - There are slow trucks and then there are slower trucks. The two
of them are in a constant race to outdo each other , occupying the
entire width of the road. If you are stuck behind it, simply njoi
maadi!!
- If your vehicle bumps into your "next-road-neighbour". Stop the
car wherever it is, get out and pick up a quarrel (if you like some
variety u can get physical too!!). Dont worry abt the traffic you are
holding up!! Everybody loves a little fight on the street!! - Any part of Bangalore can be considered a parking lot, as long as your vehicle can successfully stay stand still on it.
- If you are looking for entertainment , simply switch on to the
plethora of identity-confused FM channels on air rt now. Most of them
are in the midst of an identity crisis - trying to position itself as
English-Kannada speaking - Hindi song playing channels!! Entertainment
enough!!
Hopefully these tips help you survive the traffic in the Garden City of Bangalore!! Happy Driving!!
p.s. Bangalore would have one of the lowest accident fatality rates in
the world!! After all its difficult to mow down a person when you r
driving below 5kmph!!
